fic recs: september

[nightpoem]

here are some lovely reads from september and i thought i'd ramble a bit about each one :3



dust off the high (and go to sleep) by heartheist, jayhoon, 9.5k

thoughts

so fun!!! loved the structure n energetic writing style... i kinda wanted to turn my nose to a gymbros concept but i'll admit it's so jayhoon, which is one of the many jayhoonisms in this wonderful fic. the lack of vulnerability + coherent communication too of course... their weird secret language that's both offputting and charming is nailed so well here. i loved the succession of scenes where jay goes to each member abt Sunghoon Situation and they all react more or less the same but it's unique to each member. and okay the horny premise and sexual tension is nice too

Sunghoon’s in the kitchen when he gets there.

He doesn’t panic. On the contrary, a certain calm settles over him as he stands next to the other. When Sunghoon asks, “Have you thought about it yet?” it feels almost like a greeting, like he doesn’t particularly care for Jay’s answer now because he could ask him over and over again, anyway.

Jay’s deflections have unsurprisingly backfired. But will that stop him from digging a deeper grave for himself? No, he supposes it doesn’t really matter. So long as it’s a comfortable grave. And one thing about Jay is comfort will always be his top priority.

“Ask me that again tomorrow,” he says.

Where Sunghoon is overtly casual to the point of shamelessness, Jay could be deadpan to the point of indifference. He was done thinking about it, he decides. He’s a go-getter. And he’s going to win this fucking battle even if it kills him.

He’s already doing the grave digging, after all.

beckoning by esotericed, jaywon, 2.5k

thoughts

obsessed.... obsessed in the way this perfectly captures how ive been thinking abt jaywon lately AGHHHH my underdeveloped jaywon brain used to think their toxicity came from a one-sided love (on jay's part) but no the obsession is mutual actually. and jungwon being the one pining and jealous here is making all my dreams come true... heejaywon is also one of my (many) fav trios for this exact reason because it's a rare instance to see jw as the victimsdfjks like my heart truly hurt for him here. also really enjoyed the maknae line spa session, probably my favourite part. along with this (PAINNNNNNNN /pos):

Jungwon’s running for the bathroom before he realizes what’s happening, hands clamped over his stomach. He hears shouts behind him but then he’s bending over the toilet and emptying the contents of his stomach and there’s static zipping through his ears.

It feels like a punishment that the cool hands that pull his hair back and hold the nape of his neck are Jongseong’s.

also crazy that before i read the author's note (which is perf and hilarious btw) i pretended sunoo was talking about heeseung... wow noorta and i share the same mind. but yes the notes at the end are a masterpiece in of itself

and again by eech, heesun, transfem heeseung, 6k

thoughts

heavy and hurtful aaaaah but so beautifully written. the gender dysphoria... emotional and claustrophobic... i don't know what else to say it's hard to put into words. rly enjoy how sunoo is written in eech's fics, both tender n firm.. and it plays out so well in the heesun dynamic. teared up throughout, v special...

She rolled over in bed, under the sheets, where she was trying to pretend her body didn’t exist. All the mirrors that were hers were covered just like she was, and this was yet another kind of methodical death, a methodical ignorance: don’t look, big shirt, big hoodie, don’t look, big sweats, tight underwear to keep everything in place. Don’t move too much, because if she did then maybe she would feel it—the deformed outline of her body, the way it wasn’t hers. Not somebody else’s. Just not hers.

velocity by yoonbot, jakehoon, 3.2k

thoughts

should i kms? okay well first off this was recc'd by cora so i already knew it was going to be top tier... i love writers who can distill so much Feeling in such small bursts... love the weaving of past events and conversations throughout, this gorg sullen mood and my poor sunghoonie. i realized i do not gravitate to jakehoon for this reason bc sunghoon is a Depressed Pining Yearner which is a bit different than his usual Pathetic Lite. the portrayal of jake n sunghoon's dynamic is soooo on par with how i see them, aka unrequited :( and it makes me TOO SAD :( really enjoyed the parts with nayoung too... sunghoon's capacity to hurt someone else in the same way... masterfully done... i loved it. going in my all-times, the writing style is flawless. that ending hit me so hard god

“I wish you weren’t so nice to everyone,” Sunghoon had blurted then. “Or I wish you were nice to everyone but me,” he amended, absentmindedly rubbing the sweat on his upper lip against the shoulder of his t-shirt sleeve. “Or I wish you were nice to no one but me.”

sidelines by inblue64, sunki, 2.5k

thoughts

should i kms? pt 2. wow... what a tender piece that kind of encapsulates all the fuzzy feelings i have for riki. i love anything character study driven-ish and sunoo is the perfect perspective in terms of witnessing his growth... aaaah. the beginning is my favourite part, the close knowledge of all the members, the concept of time passing and change and all the devastation that comes w it!!! it's very sweet to read this fic thinking abt what sunoo said abt riki in this recent interview and of course, "i'm always on your side." i know that's sunoo's aegi... the otter analogy is so perf for them. brah i'm getting emotional and i honest to god teared up during the last part. everything abt this was so precious.

Sunoo gets to thinking that although they’d been teenagers when they’d met, half-shaped already, although Sunoo had lived many years without him, he thinks he has loved Riki for all his life. In what way, he isn’t sure. Does it really matter? He loves him now, he loved him when they’d been two peas in a pod, he loved him when they’d pushed each other away, he loved him before he’d known him.

i might be doing more of these depending on how much i read... me pretending i'm in university level ao3 courses like... she's taking this serious asf. i just wanna express how much i appreciate writers !!! and how they write enha !!! this was fun though, it's kind of like a book (fic) club with myself. i will be going through my 'marked for later' list like a syllabus...

for october i want to read a lot of the vampire / supernatural / horror / halloween-centered fics i've been meaning to get around to for a while so i'm v excited... will post recs from that too hopefully :3